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Note to self #1 : Remember why you started

Remember why I started what I love?

It started out naturally since my childhood. I remember myself doodling on the walls and on every pages of notebooks and drawing books even they were blank or not. I love drawing girls and clothes and animals and nature and not mechanic or manmade things.

When I grow up, I love drawing and painting because it was what I’m good at. You always like to do something you’re good at, right? I won an award and was a representative from my school to compete in a contest between schools. And that was nothing about fashion. I loved dressing up myself but knew nothing about this world until I stepped in when I was in my late 10s. I never really know how choosing fashion design instead of industrial design and architect could have changed my life this much. If I can turn back time, I still could not answer how much things will be different from my life now. But I’m happy with it anyway.

In 2009, I had an overwhelming inspiration and ambition but no place to collect them all in. So I started blogging as my online journal and diary. Since then, Vanillawalk has been carefully built up with an archive of my amateur artworks, interests, and influences.  It was a space of my own life, things I found on my pathway to my goals. I see my life as a long, slow, full-of-aesthetics journey, that’s why I name this site ‘vanillawalk’. Imagine a walkway full of vanilla scented, you are walking in distance, searching for big dreams but never forget to enjoy small things on sides. That’s what my life used to be.

So Who am I now? I think the most important part of being in today’s world loaded with information, is to stay true to your inner self. I knew sometimes I get lost and out of my track but I am constantly gaining pieces of myself back. I know who I am : passionate, strong, and independent. Solitude is my thing, and my aspiration is to create ‘a world of my own’ again.

Remember why I started ? Yes. I love storytelling. My only cup of tea is to tell stories through my works, even the mediums are words, photos, poems, textures, or surfaces of clothing I created. Fashion and trends mean nothing to me because I am not doing it for commercial. I see fashion as clothing, as a piece of art. It’s something I love to do and want to tell a story of who I am. In my every projects, you can see the concepts, the stories, and hidden beauty that I tried to unveil.

The suffering part is that, I have just graduated, and just stepped in a realistic side of fashion industry. Eventually I have learnt that fashion is business, which I enjoy anyway but also starve for imagination. How could I mix both creative and commercial together? That’s a challenge.


P.S. Remember who you are

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